Ahli Kelab Kad !!

Showing posts with label lawak. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lawak. Show all posts

Jul 17, 2012

Sangkut!








 ada penceroboh.....








 siap pandang kiri-kanan dulu tu.....










tup...tup.....





















tu lah berdosa...kan Allah dah bayar " cash "...
lenkali kalo nak ikan kering tu...
mintak izin dulu dengan tuan punya.....
jangan aci main redah ajer....kan dah tersangkut..
mujur policewoman dobot tak sampai lagik..
kalo tak,..masak la ko kat situ kene lepuk dengan dia...







Jul 6, 2012

Siapa pilihan anda..




ini pilihan mereka...
bukan kehendak saya tapi...
mereka yang buat pilihan...
ha...ha..ha...auummm!








pertandingan ini di antara












si ayam jantan yang perasan hot 










dan..........











umie yang sedia maklum sweeet ..








jadi...
siapa yang LEBIH menjadi pujaan hati mereka?..















dan jawapan diaorang ialah....







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 si ayam jantan yang bajet hottt......















gggrrr.....takpe..takpe...
menu lunch kita hari nih..
gulai ayam jantan masak lemak cili api hokey....
ok dobot...jom kita buat acara sembelih ayam!





Jul 4, 2011

Wife vs Girlfriend

someting to share with you all...
(^o^)



Wife is like TV, 



girlfriend is like HP [handphone].


At home watch TV, go out bring HP. 



No money, sell TV, got money change HP. Sometimes enjoy TV, but most of the time play with HP. TV free for life but HP, if you don't pay the services will be terminated.TV is big, bulky and most of the time old, but HP is cute, slim, curvy and very portable at any time. 



Operational cost for TV is often acceptable but for HP is high and often demanding.Most Important, TV got remote..  HP don't have..


Last but not  least....... . 




TV do not have virus, but  hp yes......... have VIRUS............... once get it, sooner you will go to heaven or hell.



Hahahaha. So better choose TV  .....


rite??



Jul 1, 2011

Meh sini nak tampar laju-laju

sakit sangat rasa hati jap ni tadik bila bukak satu email nih....
rasa cam nak sekeh2 uncle dlm gmbr nih sekali dgn tukang forward email nih...
(sib baikla tukang forward email ni takde blog..kalo x.. )





email pasai apa?..
pasai ni ha.....
 




Dia punya pasei la.....aku accident! 



                                                                       

                                                                      




















                                                                   












yang uncle gatai sangat pi tengok pasei apa???!!!!!!
gatai...
tampar sat gi baru tau..
biaq pi la dia nak pakai lagu tuh...
dia panaih...



panaih = panas


Jun 29, 2011

Who would U could be??....

just have some fun k by attending this kuiz...



    Everyone has a personality of a cartoon character. Have you ever asked yourself what cartoon character do you most resemble? 

    A group of investigators got together and analyzed the personalities of well known and modern cartoon characters. The information that was gathered was made into this test. 
    Answer all the questions (only 10) with what describes you best, add up all your Points (which are next to the answer that you choose) at the end and look for your results. 

    Do not cheat by looking at the end of this entry before you are done! Then u can just share this entry to all your friend 

    1. Which one of the following describes the perfect date? 
    ...a) Candlelight dinner (4 pts.) 
    ...b) Fun/Theme Park (2 pts.) 
    ...c) Painting in the park (5 pts) 
    ...d) Rock concert (1 pt.) 
    ...e) Going to the movies (3 pts.) 

    2. What is your favorite type of music?  
    ...a) Rock and Roll (2 pts.) 
    ...b) Alternative (1 pt.) 
    ...c) Soft Rock (4 pts.) 
    ...d) Country (5 pts.) 
    ...e) Pop (3 pts.) 

    3. What type of movies do you prefer? 
    ...a) Comedy (2 pts.) 
    ...b) Horror (1 pt.) 
    ...c) Musical (3 pts.) 
    ...d) Romance (4 pts.) 
    ...e) Documentary (5 pts.) 

    4. Which one of these occupations would you choose if you only could choose one of these? 
    ...a) Waiter (4 pts.) 
    ...b) Professional Sports Player (5 pts.) 
    ...c) Teacher (3 pts.) 
    ...d) Police (2 pts.) 
    ...e) Cashier (1 pt) 

    5 What do you do with your spare time?
    ...a) Exercise (5 pts.) 
    ...b) Read (4 pts.) 
    ...c) Watch television (2 pts.) 
    ...d) Listen to music (1 pt.) 
    ...e) Sleep (3 pts.) 

    6. Which one of the following colors do you like best? 
    ...a) Yellow (1 pt.) 
    ...b) White (5 pts.) 
    ...c) Sky Blue (3 pts. ) 
    ...d) Dark Blue (2 pts.) 
    ...e) Red (4 pts.) 

    7. What do you prefer to eat? 
    ...a) Snow (3 pts.) 
    ...b) Pizza (2 pts.) 
    ...c) Sushi (1 pt.) 
    ...d) Pasta (4 pts.) 
    ...e) Salad (5 pts.) 

    8 What is your favorite holiday? 
    ...a) Hari Buruh (1 pt.) 
    ....b) Christmas (3 pts.) 
    ...c) New Year (2 pts.) 
    ...d) Valentine's Day (4 pts.) 
    ...e) Hari Raya Aidilfitri (5 pts.) 

    9. If you could go to one of these places which one would it be? 
    ...a)Paris (4 pts) 
    ...b) Spain (5 pts) 
    ...c) Las Vegas (1 pt) 
    ...d) Hawaii (4 pts) 
    ...e) Hollywood (3 pts) 

    10. With which of the following would you prefer to spend time with? 
    ...a) Someone Smart (5 pts.) 
    ...b) Someone attractive (2 pts.) 
    ...c) Someone who likes to Party (1 pt.) 
    ...d) Someone who always has fun (3 pts.) 
    ...e) Someone very sentimental (4 pts.) 

    Now add up your points and find out the answer you have been waiting for! 
    Very interesting to see "who" your friends are! 
    (10-16 points) You are Garfield : You are very comfortable, easy going, and you definitely know how to have fun but sometimes you take it to an extreme. You always know what you are doing and you are always in control of your life. Others may not see things as you do, but that doesn't mean that you always have to do what is right. Try to remember, your happy spirit may hurt you or others. 

    (17-23 points) You are Snoopy: 
    You a r e fun, you are very cool and popular. You always know what's in 
    and you are never are out of style You are good at knowing how to 
    satisfy everyone else. You have probably disappeared for a few day s 
    more than once but you always come home with the family values that you learned. Being married and having children are important to you, but 
    only after you have had your share of fun times 

    (24-28 points) You are Elmo: 
    You have lots of friends and you are also popular, always willing to 
    give advice and help out a person in need. You are very optimistic and 
    you always see the bright side of things. Some good advice: try not to 
    be too much of a dreamer. Dreaming too big could cause many conflicts in 
    your life. 

    (29-35 points) You are Sponge Bob Square Pants: 
    You are the classic person that everyone loves. You are the best friend 
    that anyone could ever have and never wants to lose. You never cause 
    harm to anyone and they would never not understand your feelings. Life 
    is a journey, it's funny and calm for the most part. Stay away from 
    traitors and jealous people, and you will be stress free. 

    (36-43 points) You are Charlie Brown: 
    You are tender, you fall in love quickly but you are also very serious 
    about all relationships. You are a family person. You ca ll your Mom 
    every Sunday. You have many friends and may occasionally forget a few 
    Birthdays. Don't let your passion confuse you with reality. 

    (44-50 points) You are Dexter: 
    You are smart and definitely a thinker... Every situation is fronted 
    with a plan. You have a brilliant mind. You demonstrate very strong 
    family principles. You maintain a stable routine but never ignore a bad 
    situation when it comes. Try to do less over thinking every once in a 
    while to spice things up a bit with spontaneity!
    just some fun to brighten up your day dear friends.....
    btw...
    I'm ..
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    Spongebob SquarePants

Fakta atau Auta??

Sila baca fakta-fakta di bawah ini sehingga habis ye...


Tahukah anda.....



1. Tahukah Anda dalam bahasa Inggeris dan Italy , jurugambar dikenali sebagai paparazi. Perkataan itu dipercayai diambil dari watak paparazzo dalam filem La Dolce Vita yang diterbitkan oleh Federico Fellini pada tahun 1960. Dalam bahasa melayu pula , ayah kepada seorang budak yang bernama Razzi juga boleh dikenali dengan nama papa Razzi.



2. Tahukah Anda bendera negara Denmark telah dicipta 700 tahun lampau, menjadikan bendera paling lama digunakan di dunia lebih lama daripada penggunaan susu cap bendera.



3. Tahukah Anda magnet ialah sejenis logam yang juga digelar besi berani. Sebagaimana namanya magnet ialah besi yang berani menarik butir-butir besi lain kearahnya. Bagaimanapun orang yang diupah untuk menarik kereta bukanlah magnet.



4. Tahukah Anda cicak memutuskan ekornya apabila diganggu. Apabila cicak menyedari yang dia diekori oleh sesuatu, ia akan memutuskan ekornya supaya benda itu tidak mengekorinya lagi atas alasan tanpa ekor sudah tentu ia tidak akan diekori lagi.


5. Tahukan anda bahawa seorang manusia normal tidak boleh menyentuh telinganya sendiri menggunakan siku.



6. Tahukah Anda burung dapat pulang ke sarangnya walaupun telah keluar kadangkala hingga beribu kilometer daripada sarangnya tanpa sesat atau silap walaupun tanpa bantuan kompas. Ini kerana setiap sarang burung mempunyai alamatnya yang tersendiri sebenarnya.



7. Tahukah Anda bunyi perkataan lempeng dan tempeleng adalah hampir sama walaupun ia berbeza dari segi rupa bentuknya. Tapi, walaubagaimanapun orang yang kena tempeleng masih boleh memakan lempeng apabila dia berasa lapar.



8. Tahukah Anda gunung berapi yang berusia tiga ratus tahun disahkan masih aktif untuk meletup. Tapi mengikut kajian ahli gunung, api elektrik di rumah kita tidak akan aktif jika tidak membayar bilnya selama tiga bulan.



9. Tahukah Anda orang yang tidak pernah kisah langsung tentang wang ringgit, pangkat, kedudukan dan harta dunia ialah Orang Utan.



10. Tahukah Anda ahli sains seluruh dunia bersepakat jika nasi ayam dimakan sewaktu lapar, perut kita akan mengalami satu tindakbalas yang berupa kekenyangan. Nasi ayam juga boleh digunakan sebagai ubat untuk menggembirakan hati kita bila nasi ayam yang dimakan itu dibelanja oleh kawan kita.



11. Dan tahukah anda bahawa hampir kesemua pembaca entry ini telah mencuba untuk menyentuh telinga menggunakan siku.............CAYALAH! !!!!!!



senyum...senyum...
jangan marah.....





Jun 28, 2011

Superhero Negara..meh cepat apply!!

syarat-syarat kelayakan adalah sangat mudah..
yang penting badan harus MANTAP!!
especially yang sangat berminat dalam hal-hal pertahanan awam....



Minat dalam bidang PERTAHANAN?


Bantu skuad negara dalam membanteras jenayah.


Syarat-syarat:
1. Bumiputra dan bukan bumiputra
2. Tidak Rabun Warna
3. Kelayakan Minimum SPM
4. Berumur diantara 18-30 tahun



Kelebihan:
1. Kerja di bawah kementerian pertahanan
2. Gaji pokok : RM1800
3. Elaun bulanan (Cola) : RM300
4. Elaun penginapan RM300
5. Uniform: RM450
6. Dobi RM200
7. Percuma kursus mempertahankan diri
8. Kenaikan pangkat secara lantikan dari ketua unit jawatan dan mengambil ujian khas



Sekiranya berminat sila hadir pada sesi temuduga dan dikehendaki membawa kad pengenalan diri serta gambar berukuran passport pada 30 Julai 2011 di Jabatan Perkhidmatan Awam


Bagi yang berkelayakan uniform akan diberikan 3 pasang setiap seorang dan kelengkapan lain (lengkap) serta perlu melaporkan diri 60 hari dari surat tawaran jawatan.



LAMPIRAN SILA KE BAWAH.





JAWATAN YANG DITAWARKAN :




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Jawatan:
1. Power Rangers
2. Kamen Riders
3. Ultraman
4. Sailormoon (wanita shj)
5.SURIA PERKASA HITAM (Cawangan Jepun)

http://kahkahkah.mnazman.com/images/Image.1238143904185.jpg


hahahahahahahahahaha...
jangan marah beb...
pepagi hari ni harus senyum...
jangan tensen-tensen....